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Walking on the wild side with God

I read a blog with the above title. I love it. :) made me smile and made me peaceful. I know it is really embarrassing to be caught being Catholic, God-fearing plus having a lot of faults and sins. It is really embarrassing to looked at because you said Grace before a meal. I am shy to be caught praying.

I have to admit that I love my God. I love the way I pray. I love the way He had watched over me all these years. I have walked far away from Him and I have walked closer to Him. I found that when I walked far away from Him.. I "thought" I was ok. I thought I was at peace and I was happy. I thought I was doing good and then when the shit hit the fan for me several times I cry and scientifically do the mental housecleaning. However I never went through a spiritual house cleaning. Why? Because I believed I was ok.

Next would be a contradiction to the above. Now that I am closer (not very very close okay)just closer than before. I feel soo many evil things are happening around me, to me and to my family. I can see it and I have visions which scares me. I feel sooooooo overwhelmed. Why is this happening to me? Why am I seeing destruction and war? (this is figuratively speaking, I know there is a war and I know the papers have articles on destruction). But why with the closer I get the scarier things get. I do not know, what I know is that I beg all to pray for me. I myself will keep praying for myself and my family. This life is borrowed. We are only here for a moment. I plan to make that moment lovely and full with good things.

I also pray for a good friend's soul to be resting in Peace and blessing us from heaven.

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