A headache to rule the world

This morning I woke up with the most massively splitting headache.

I have not had migraines for a long time. Sigh.. A sign of growing old or stress. I just need to sleep this off...

Met Lina and Siti for lunch. It was fun gurls. I hope we do that more often.

Busy busy busy.. soon the PTK will be upon us. Sigh again. I thought I would do it next year. Nevermind. The assignment is giving me a headache. At least there are no written exams this time.. I save my gut nerves.

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My two cents

There are two types of people who succeed in life, one who never gives up and one who never failed. The first one always wins but the second one will give up after his first failure. This one I claim as my own quote. The others swimming in my head are: Never quit. If you think you have lost, you have. Strive and strive again. Plug on. ~Andy Lydiatt~ Perservere ~JM~ Bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian. Listen to your teacher, ~mummy~ When you get nervous for a presentation Doc Eeevil told me to remember there are three types of people in the crowd 1) the ones who genuinely wants to know more 2) the ones who wants to guide you to a bigger idea 3) the ones who want to make you look bad. My personal principle, keep your manners and be kind and assertive when answering to all three types, you can not go wrong.

The biggest challenge

The challenges I had in my life were numerous. I come from a very average family. We had food on the table. We had the hand me down clothes. To aspire for a change in life meant I needed to work harder than I ever did. So I did. I worked hard at school for 5 years to get myself eligible for a scholarship. I faced failure after failure to get a decent grade to be able to continue for a degree. I worked hard to get my postgraduate scholarships. Went through so much downs and still I stood up again to just finish what I started. I stand here now thinking if I did all that why is it so hard to do this one thing. To forgive the unforgivable. My insides are all in pain. I want to set myself free. I want to forgive. I want to move on. Lord God in all my travels and adventure I never stopped talking to you. Today more than any other time I implore you to help me forgive.

Feeling like jello

It is a tender morning. Today is week 3 of my survival count-up. I was okay in the pass few days. What happened this morning? I do not know. I just feel very tender, panicky, scared, worried and sad. All these emotions for me and my children. I pray to God for strength and calmness. I need to release this control I have over this issue. I need to surrender to God, his Angels and Saints. They are all around me and they remind me so often that they appreciate my struggle and I need to let them help. I need to appreciate myself. I have done some wrong things and some right things. But I can not be harsh on myself for the wrong things I do. I need to focus on the right things. I am on the right path. I want to have faith. I am progressing steadily. I am moving forward. My proposal and my side income projects are there and I am working towards them. I need to stop worrying. Worrying is like a magnet for negative things to happen to me and my family. I need to focus on the positives in my li...

Assoc. Prof. Dr Rachel F. Mansa

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