Skip to main content

Being Envied

Is it normal in our society to be envied?
Is it good to be envied?
Envy strikes such a negative response from our culture. Does it not? I think everything has a good and bad side to it. Even envy. I do not think I need to state the negative side of envy here. I think you all know what that is. However the good side of envy, that is if it is taken positively would actually benefit the person who envies and is envied.

Firstly, when I envy someone, I aspire to have what they have. I start wishing I was in their shoes from the limited perspective given to us by their stories or other resources (hahah usually gossip). However we really do not know what their life is like. We can not start to comprehend the problems they face, the challenges they strive through, the battles they fight, the sacrifices they make or the choices they had to make.

Usually after wishing for their life I will go through a chain of thoughts which will include asking myself if I really understood the sacrifices or the hard work they had to put into to get to where they were. For example Daphne Iking. She is sooo beautiful, gifted and fun. I wish I had her life. It is so glamorous and exciting. However would I be able to handle the public scrutiny she experiences. She is always worried about her weight (Pon if you ever read this.. no offense I respect you greatly for everything you are doing, you are an Icon an example that we loud mouthed Sabahan girls have a place in the world, hahaha). I do too but I do NOT have to deal with people who will tell me right off that I am too fat for public eye.. I think that is the hardest thing to put up. RESPECT.

My next example is Doc Beautiful (yeah I do envy a lot of people as well) hahahah... but I do drag myself down to earth and try to realize the real story of their life. Okay this Doc Beautiful is down right beautiful, furthermore she is soo intelligent, furthermore she is soo good at management, furthermore she is so very good at what she does, furthermore she has a very SUPPORTIVE, UNDERSTANDING, MATURED MAN for a husband. I greatly lack this due to my own POOR choice.. hahahah.. (but I love my FAULTfull man/boy/angst teenager.. me shaking my head.. "Sometimes you can not choose who you love" therefore you have to sacrifice a lot more than you can, hmmm to keep a marriage...).. To me Doc Beautiful is perfect. She has the perfect life, the perfect career, the perfect friends, the perfect children, the perfect everything. However I know she has made choices which were difficult to make. I know she works DAMN hard. I know she had made a lot of sacrifices too.

Kudos to these great woman. Apart from Mother Theresa, Princess D, Margaret Thatcher, Hillary Clinton, Condelezza Rice, my Mami, the Mrs Moosoms.. the list is actually long.. . These are my heroes. None of them had an easy life. None of them had easy choices. None of them had not sacrificed. None of them tried to run away from hard work.

What I am trying to say here is that the package is set. Nothing is perfect. It is what you choose to do to maintain your own sanity and to keep on making the right choices for your own good and those you love. The fight is long and hard. But is you are willing to choose the hard way.. the REWARDS are great. Chegu.. I know your choices.. I look up to you and respect you in many ways.. I envy you toooo u know..

My life is hard. I have been married since the 22nd of March 2009, for three years. My GOD I have gone through hell and back and hell again. I pray to God that I never have to go through that again. Sometimes I wish I did not love my husband at all. Sometimes I ask myself why I am still with him after all the shit he put me through. I do not know. I really do not know why... why am I still here. But looking at the pictures and how Carol reacted. I guess it is worth it. To have my family safe and peaceful. To keep the love true, to keep the heartache away from making me insane. Everything I do, I do in respect to God. For what he has given me yesterday and today. I give thanks to him.

To those who does not understand, when strife comes make sure God is beside you and that you love yourself enough to believe he will stick beside you.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi Rachel, I bumped into yr blog. I'm very touched with your sharing. I'm very proud of you that how you can relate your trials and had continuously put yr faith in God. You are a very strong woman and a loving mother which your children are very lucky to have you.
Sometimes love make us do the impossible things.
Keep strong and without rain, we won't see the rainbow.

regards,
Muni...
Dear Muni, I thank you.

Popular posts from this blog

My two cents

There are two types of people who succeed in life, one who never gives up and one who never failed. The first one always wins but the second one will give up after his first failure. This one I claim as my own quote. The others swimming in my head are: Never quit. If you think you have lost, you have. Strive and strive again. Plug on. ~Andy Lydiatt~ Perservere ~JM~ Bersusah-susah dahulu, bersenang-senang kemudian. Listen to your teacher, ~mummy~ When you get nervous for a presentation Doc Eeevil told me to remember there are three types of people in the crowd 1) the ones who genuinely wants to know more 2) the ones who wants to guide you to a bigger idea 3) the ones who want to make you look bad. My personal principle, keep your manners and be kind and assertive when answering to all three types, you can not go wrong.

The biggest challenge

The challenges I had in my life were numerous. I come from a very average family. We had food on the table. We had the hand me down clothes. To aspire for a change in life meant I needed to work harder than I ever did. So I did. I worked hard at school for 5 years to get myself eligible for a scholarship. I faced failure after failure to get a decent grade to be able to continue for a degree. I worked hard to get my postgraduate scholarships. Went through so much downs and still I stood up again to just finish what I started. I stand here now thinking if I did all that why is it so hard to do this one thing. To forgive the unforgivable. My insides are all in pain. I want to set myself free. I want to forgive. I want to move on. Lord God in all my travels and adventure I never stopped talking to you. Today more than any other time I implore you to help me forgive.

Feeling like jello

It is a tender morning. Today is week 3 of my survival count-up. I was okay in the pass few days. What happened this morning? I do not know. I just feel very tender, panicky, scared, worried and sad. All these emotions for me and my children. I pray to God for strength and calmness. I need to release this control I have over this issue. I need to surrender to God, his Angels and Saints. They are all around me and they remind me so often that they appreciate my struggle and I need to let them help. I need to appreciate myself. I have done some wrong things and some right things. But I can not be harsh on myself for the wrong things I do. I need to focus on the right things. I am on the right path. I want to have faith. I am progressing steadily. I am moving forward. My proposal and my side income projects are there and I am working towards them. I need to stop worrying. Worrying is like a magnet for negative things to happen to me and my family. I need to focus on the positives in my li...