This blog is not a reference point to give a tried and true method of finding a Gem of a Guy but just a sharing of experience. I have talked to a few friends who had good solid marriages and I summarised what I learned from them in this blog. I wrote it as a continuation to my last blog on why do good girls choose bad boys?
Every time I met a friend who had a very steady and good husband I never failed to ask them how they found these guys.
The first thing they always say is that they never liked their present husbands initially and that they had other choices whom they preferred more. However their present husbands did not give up pursuing them for months or years. These men did not stop showing them how much they were cared for. These men came to visit the family and genuinely tried to show how they appreciate them in front of their families and friends. These men were not self centered. These men would try and know your likes and dislikes. Eventually the genuine care was evident. The bad boys would not be able to hold up against any genuine man because of time and effortlessness. Time will tell the true colours of anyone. Effortlessness comes from a sincere person, a person who loves you truly does not feel that it is an effort to be of service to you, be part of your life or give you attention.
My friends found that the men they would have initially cross out of their list became the main man of their life. I see happiness and harmony in their marriage. I see them having that companion and partner in facing the hardships of life. I see them feeling loved and secure. However one must remember that if one wants a good man one must be a good woman as well.
Take time to discern a person's character. Don't fall in love too quickly. Don't eliminate people just because you think they are not initially attractive to you. Learn to discern between short term efforts and long term efforts.
Every time I met a friend who had a very steady and good husband I never failed to ask them how they found these guys.
The first thing they always say is that they never liked their present husbands initially and that they had other choices whom they preferred more. However their present husbands did not give up pursuing them for months or years. These men did not stop showing them how much they were cared for. These men came to visit the family and genuinely tried to show how they appreciate them in front of their families and friends. These men were not self centered. These men would try and know your likes and dislikes. Eventually the genuine care was evident. The bad boys would not be able to hold up against any genuine man because of time and effortlessness. Time will tell the true colours of anyone. Effortlessness comes from a sincere person, a person who loves you truly does not feel that it is an effort to be of service to you, be part of your life or give you attention.
My friends found that the men they would have initially cross out of their list became the main man of their life. I see happiness and harmony in their marriage. I see them having that companion and partner in facing the hardships of life. I see them feeling loved and secure. However one must remember that if one wants a good man one must be a good woman as well.
Take time to discern a person's character. Don't fall in love too quickly. Don't eliminate people just because you think they are not initially attractive to you. Learn to discern between short term efforts and long term efforts.
Comments
I think we lie in the category of "I know he is a bad boy but i can't go away from him.." KIMMET!!!
I am really really happy that you married the right man. Something I keep on wishing I had done or will do in the future.. hahahha *wink *wink
Take good care of yourself and the children. They are the reason for you to go on with life and to face the day w/out fear. I know you are one tough lady (& hotmama too hehe) and that you will always be. Hardship will come with a reward in the end. Hope good things will come your way, if not now, in the near future. :)
Mai Thanks:)
Deana I like the CDs that I got. I will get some more for my next son. After two months.