Skip to main content

Why do good girls choose bad boys?

I know this happens a lot. My friends have all fallen into this. A shame. It usually ends with a lot of pain.

I will highlight a few words from a webpage I found which was very religious but touches the heart of "why good girls go with bad boys?".

Everything I have taken out has been directly copied and pasted from the weblink above. So please read the full text.

Definition of a bad boy

"A bad boy is a man who seems outwardly attractive, but is unwilling to offer sacrificial love in a relationship. He is too immature and preoccupied with himself to share genuine compassion, concern, or acceptance. A bad boy lacks character and might exhibit the following behavior: lying, aloofness, irresponsible dreaming, fear of commitment, sexual promiscuity, addiction to substances or pornography, selfishness, hunger for power, disinterest in surrendering to God, etc.

In addition, a bad boy is not interested in true love, because real love requires consistent sacrifice. A bad boy will only sacrifice for someone if it’s convenient for him or if he gets something in return. He expects the woman to do most of the giving, while he ignores her needs or takes advantage of her. "

I definitely agree with the definition above. So ladies wise up. Sending this word out to those really young hearted teenage girls. You are more precious than you realize. Turn your back to that bad boy and choose the Good Man.

The weblink said there are three common reasons why these good girls choose these bad boys

Reason #1 – He can be fixed. - "A nice girl may view a bad boy as a “project” or someone whom she can help “fix”." Sorry but do not even go there. If God gave these boys a chance to choose their life, why would you think they will change for you. Even God will take years to persuade them to change. :) If any of you out there are doing this now. Let go before you destroy yourself.

Reason #2 – He pursued me. - "Dating a guy with poor character, even if he pursues you, will still equal a poor relationship." I like this one. Been there done that. Left all those boys. Wink wink.

Reason #3 – He’s so exciting. - "Bad boys may be fun, but the party never lasts. Vain pleasure always wears off over time." Once you cease to entertain them or to be of use to them. They soon move on to "indulge their selfish heart".

Do yourself a favour break the bad boy cycle.
  • Love yourself fully REMEMBER you deserve the best, which translates to you do not deserve to be sacrificed for another persons happiness.
  • Understand yourself (your strengths and weaknesses).
  • You need to take the time to discern that man’s character before you give him your heart.
  • You must be willing to walk away from a man who is unwilling to sacrifice for your needs.
Be patient the good guys are out there.
How to spot a good guy? First you have to be honest about yourself. If you pretend you will attract pretenders. Actually developing yourself (emotionally, educationally and financially) is the best move to finding the right guy. Secondly set up a realistic criteria. Something substantial which will allow you to have a safe, secure and proper home (no broken families). Thirdly, a marriage is a partnership to bring up children. So find someone who is willing to be working as a team with you. Bringing up yourself is already a big job.

My personal confession
I married a bad boy. I have said I am not perfect you know. But respect me. He does not get any sacrifices from me. :) I love myself too much and I know what I deserve. Why did I not spot him. I have known all these information above years and years ago. I have been in that cycle and knew I was on my way out. I think I lacked the patience although I knew he was a bad one. My biological clock was ticking. I went into this marriage with my two eyes wide open. I knew I would not try to fix him or even wish him to change. I do not worry about being pursued by him or not. I can stand on my own. I can get myself excited anytime. :) I am no victim. All that I have done I vowed never to regret. This is life, I will survive it.

However I can not deny the presence of The Pain yet I knew I would be strong enough to handle it. My Kiddo and My Baby are worth the gamble. My life is perfect. :) MOH you can stay stupid and be a bad boy all your life. I am good. I have the will to turn my back on you. Choice is yours to fix yourself. A good life with me lies in front of you. God is always merciful and will always be there to help you change if you just choose to.

To all ladies and teenage girls. Self maintenance and self reliance are the mainstays of a strong character. Be strong. We are women after all.

Comments

Kampung Girl said…
You're a strong woman Rach! I believe in trying to save a relationship/marriage no matter how rocky it could be but patience has its' only limits...and i give it to you for keep on trying. I hope your MOH will grow up and realise what he could/would be missing before it's way too late.

Talk to you soon dear! Take it easy..u have a baby inside of u.
Thanks Mae. I feel the love you all have for me. :) I think My Baby is the reason I feel strong. All my decisions now is how to make sure that this one comes out to a sorted world. I think that this baby growing in me now will grow up to be a person who takes no shit from no one. :) It really gives me a lot of strength.

Popular posts from this blog

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Yesterday was a wonderful day. My Kiddo had a wonderful birthday with his cousins and girlfriend. hahah not a girlfriend at 3 years old per Se but a friend's daughter. Sigh.. I can smile and I survived. It is six months now.. and we are still living. Thank you God for watching me and my family. Today I am working as I have to meet a deadline. I miss my kids but it is going to be like this for the rest of their lives and my life. There will be times I can spend all day with them and days that they do not see me at all. Tomorrow I know I will have them to myself all day long. So I hope it will be good. In the future I hope to be a better mother to them. I hope that they will have a bright future and have a lot of laughs along the way. Peace to the World.

Ouch!

As for a lot of first year students all over the country, last week must have been an eventful time. I was soo excited to welcome our new first years. Those eager to learn faces. Hmmm soon to be jaded by the hardship of a very trying course. :) My excitement changed to wonder and then to disappointment. Do not get me wrong. I do feel passionate about teaching these young adults. However there are a few of those who are a bit Duh! "Oh no not this type of students" I sighed to myself. Why so "Skima wan?" (also known as Kiasu attitude or overenthusiastic). Ouch. Ha ha ha ha. It brought me back to memories of myself. Maybe I was that student as well. I pause to search of memories of me. Ouch again. I was exactly that type of student. ROFL. No wonder Dr. Eevil called me a geek. Oh well. The whole process of going through a degree will soon smooth that one out. Like it did your's truly. Sigh again. My excitement is back. Wish I did not have to have 2 months maternity...

A bright new day!

Not knowing what to do. But actually having a long list of things that need doing. I choose to do the one thing which was not in the list. Why I do this? I do not know. Been thinking of changing blog site for a while. So here I am in blog world. I am sooooo lazy. I feel like I have no motivation to do my work. I watched superman yesterday morning instead of rushing to work. I like it. I went pass the cinema today and I noticed that bourne supreme is out. wey hey.. need to watch that. I also spent most of hari raya being a laze about in the house. Playing gin rumme with my family, playing with my son and also computer games. I just cant wait for the next episode of Heroes to be out. oooooh I am just crazy about that series. I miss going out but I am too lazy to go out. I still made it to meet a friend at Starbucks city mall. Otherwise I would be stuck in front of the gamecube playing wario ware with my sis and cous.