Assoc. Prof. Dr Rachel F. Mansa

In my palms I hold keys In my arms I hold my peace In my heart of hearts I hold my prayers In my thoughts So full of layers I was told, once I am the navigator of my ship My heart dense with fear holding a grip I persevere for I know there will be more of this ease the day it was fair and I felt some peace

Open my eyes Crumbling walls and columns The structure were recent And the colours were decent What happened here? I shall sit and ponder If my sons permit me this moment I shall sit through this torment Freeing drops of crystals To heal the wounded hearts When all the spent strength When all the time spent When all the fights went It was not enough for that Wounded heart Fruits of my womb Do not leave me numb Lift this spirit of mine A new tomorrow for thine

It is a tender morning. Today is week 3 of my survival count-up. I was okay in the pass few days. What happened this morning? I do not know. I just feel very tender, panicky, scared, worried and sad. All these emotions for me and my children. I pray to God for strength and calmness. I need to release this control I have over this issue. I need to surrender to God, his Angels and Saints. They are all around me and they remind me so often that they appreciate my struggle and I need to let them help. I need to appreciate myself. I have done some wrong things and some right things. But I can not be harsh on myself for the wrong things I do. I need to focus on the right things. I am on the right path. I want to have faith. I am progressing steadily. I am moving forward. My proposal and my side income projects are there and I am working towards them. I need to stop worrying. Worrying is like a magnet for negative things to happen to me and my family. I need to focus on the positives in my li...

Today is two weeks.. Two weeks of what? I let you guess. It is just sufficient to state that. I never thought I would have to do this. Make such changes in my life and my children's life. I have no choice. In my mind's eye, I never imagined this picture. How can I live?... I tell you what. I do it day to day, week by week, fortnightly by forthnightly.... soon it will be year by year and decades by decades.. By that time, I probably be glad I did this. Pain and time. Time helps heal all pain. I hope that is true. The pain is unimaginable. The pain is great. I pray for peace and calmness in my soul, Joy and Happiness for my kids. I can do this... I can take this role. I can metamorph into this... just give me time... I have to picture this clear in my head. I have to make this picture strong that I succeed and I triumph over adversity. God give me the strength to change what I can change, give me patience, guidance, protection and love.